1. Botox: If you want to look your best on the red carpet and you think that involves a shot of Botox, do it two weeks before the big night. Your face needs time to relax and get used to its new position. You want the press to avoid describing your forehead as frozen, surprised, or shocked. In fact, they shouldn't be talking about your forehead, JLo.
2. Pregnancy: Often times, it is a guaranteed way to win an award. The press loves belly bumps as do the awards show voters. Think Catherine Zeta-Jones back in 2003 when Chicago swept the awards season. She sang, danced, and she even had EMTs on hand to deliver her baby just in case she went into labor while accepting her Academy Award. This is Natalie's year to win it all for Black Swan, so please find a stylist who doesn't dress your bump like a mound of soil to plant your little flower.
3. Flesh: Okay, okay, we get that flesh tones are in vogue, but it's time to leave your skin tone dresses at home. They don't look great on the red carpet, in photographs, or on camera. It's time to tell the stylists to drop the fleshy palette and look for a bit of color to liven up the joint. Who wore flesh dresses? Nicole Kidman, Michelle Williams, Leighton Meester, Carrie Underwood, Sandra Bullock, Julie Bowen, Scarlett "The Frankenbride" Johansson, and more. You want to be a movie star? Act like one. (You know that Lea Michele is gunning for the movie star title, so watch your backs, kids.)
4. Mother of the Bride Dresses: Leave the frump at home. This means you....Angelina, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway (Her dress looked like it would feel itchy with the thousands of sequins.), and Jenny from the Block who gets a mention here for the capelette over her gown.
5. Stop Dressing Yourself: January Jones. Your Versace dress with a side of smooshed boobs and a dash of "What the hell?" should send you straight into the arms of a stylist. Any stylist. I don't care whom.
What were your thoughts on last night's show? I would love to hear who you were happy and horrified with on the red carpet.
All photos are property of Jason Merritt/Getty Images.
Leighton's dress is pretty. It just isn't red carpet pretty. The red carpet should be about the "wow" and when I see all of those pale dresses, it doesn't have that same effect. But, you are right, the "A" dress should be reserved for the Academy Awards.
ReplyDeleteSay it ain't so... Good lord what is up with these women? Is there a mirror in their dressing room or do they just employ YES 'men'???
ReplyDelete